Joint Custody with a Jerk: Raising a Child with an Uncooperative Ex, A Hands on, practical guide to coping with custody issues that arise with an uncooperative ex-spouse
Review
Currently the director Parenting Horizons, which offers ongoing interactive workshops and counseling for parents, Julie A. Ross is also a certified Active Parenting Group Leader, a member in good standing with the American Counseling Assocation and has her own private practice. Her previous book, Practical Parenting for the 21st Century: The Manual You Wish Had Come with Your Child, is now in its third printing.Judy Cordcoran is a freelance writer, the creative director of Gray Productions, and the media reporter for BrandMarketing Magazine. — Review
ReviewCurrently the director Parenting Horizons, which offers ongoing interactive workshops and counseling for parents, Julie A. Ross is also a certified Active Parenting Group Leader, a member in good standing with the American Counseling Assocation and has her own private practice. Her previous book, Practical Parenting for the 21st Century: The Manual You Wish Had Come with Your Child, is now in its third print…
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The two main things I got from this book were: 1) It helped me achieve a certain level of peace with my custody situation, and 2) It taught me some effective ways to communicate with both my ex and my son. These two things have definitely helped me get a handle on my custody chaos, and consequently I am able to focus more energy on parenting. The book’s early chapters deal with common problems that arise in an uncooperative custody relationship. The authors teach you how to break each problem down into the actual problems themselves, and the emotional component of the problems. By analyzing and understanding your own emotional reaction to an issue, you can deal with it much more effectively, and it ends up having less control over you. Sometimes you find that what you thought was a problem is actually not a problem at all, but just an emotional trigger. Later chapters deal with effective ways to communicate with your ex. The suggestions the authors give are practical, and so far the ones I’ve used have worked. They are probably good for other types of relationships too. The authors stress that building your child’s self-esteem and self-confidence is extremely important. They also emphasize that even if your ex is a jerk, your child still loves and needs him or her. The authors teach that it is important to recognize how our words and actions affect our children. I recommend this book for anyone who feels that their custody situation is out of control, or who has communication problems with their ex. No book will solve all your custody problems if your ex is a jerk. When you finish reading the book, your ex will probably still be a jerk. You will, however, be better equipped to deal with the jerk in your life.
I picked it up, bitter and looking for humor. What I got instead was a nearly plug-in formula for communicating with my ex who is so difficult we were forbidden to communicate except by email or text message. I learned how to not let him foist his problems onto me, while still not creating problems for our kids. Anyone who couldn’t find value in this book is either as calm and wonderful as Mr. Rogers or simply cannot read. I’d even recommend this book to ANYONE who needs help “talking like a therapist” in order to get through communications with difficult people of any kind. I know its helping me.