Comments on: Adoption Trama Commercial

By: sndblstr

sndblstr — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 22:52:06 +0000

I must have hit a nerve. You know I’m right. Listen, of course there are special challenges faced by lots of adoptees. I’m not unsympathetic to that. However, at some point you need to understand that your bio mother gave you the gift of life through adoption as opposed to abortion. Dwelling on feelings of abandonment & seeing yourself as a victim forever and ever will get you nowhere. Show understanding, yes, but let’s not coddle & “poor baby” these adoptees to death; they are not victims.

By: dollybones

dollybones — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 22:12:59 +0000

Wow, sndblstr. You’re a thoughtless prick. I hope you haven’t adopted any kids or they’ll need counseling more profoundly than most of us adopted folks do. You’re the type who negates their rightful feelings of loss and abandonment with your lack of care and understanding. You’d suck as an adoptive parent. Probably as any kind of parent.

By: sndblstr

sndblstr — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 22:09:14 +0000

What you need to understand is that growing up is almost never easy… not for anyone. You can choose to falsely see yourself as a victim, which you very obviously do, though you claim otherwise, or you can be grateful for life and for the love and care you likely received from your adopted and, yes, “true” family. There is a line between expressing understanding/compassion on one side and coddling what can amount to an ungrateful, “poor me” habitual attitude on the other.

By: dollybones

dollybones — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 21:27:07 +0000

I know my birth mother personally, having met her when i was 24, and while it’s easy to understand the logical reasons I was surrendered, the loss is still there. I don’t see myself as a victim, but I do sincerely mourn the loss of my entire biological family. Those of you who’ve grown up within your own natural family frequently take that for granted.

By: sndblstr

sndblstr — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 20:47:30 +0000

It is a shame that you have a habit of using misleading and dramatic phrases like “a family that is not your own” or “every day…feeling like an outsider” and also when you applaud those oh-so-brave ones for “speaking out” about something that you say has been “kept in the dark” for decades. Worst of all, you refuse to acknowledge the adopted family is the “true family.” By the way, there is no “innate biological” need to know anything; it is an understandable psych and emotional desire.

By: dollybones

dollybones — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 20:29:47 +0000

You have no concept of what it is like to be raised in a family that is not your own, and to spend every day of your life feeling like an outsider. Just because some of us are finally speaking out on the fact that not all adoptions work out for the children, and that there is an innate biological need to know your true family members does not make us crybabies.

By: dollybones

dollybones — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 19:45:18 +0000

We are trying to shed light on something that has been kept in the dark for decades. Every human being deserves to know the people they are related to, and we can experience deep pain and loss if we don’t. Callous attitudes do nothing to help aid the understanding of adopted kids who are struggling with these issues at this very moment.

By: dollybones

dollybones — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 19:29:32 +0000

Anyone who is not adopted is understandably naive about these issues, but they are very real and must be addressed if you want adopted kids to have stable mental health and happiness. You can’t just tell people to suck it up and be grateful for not being aborted. You are adding insult to injury.

By: dollybones

dollybones — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 18:38:03 +0000

I love my adoptive parents, but they are not my “true” family when it comes to genetics/heredity/biology, etc. and that is a scientific fact. You can pretend all you want that an adoptive family can easily replace that, but it just isn’t so. You apparently think *all* adoptees who express pain are just making up this pain and loss. You clearly need to do some research and open your mind beyond how you think things “should” be. Bottom line = you don’t know unless you are in the situation.

By: dollybones

dollybones — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 18:35:54 +0000

If you’re not adopted, you simply have no idea how it feels. And you are childish in your view that every adopted child receives “love and care” from their adoptive family. You also ignore the significance of biological connection. If you didn’t have it, you’d miss it, believe me. But because you have it, you don’t realize how important it is.